Sinking With This Ship
by Silent Epiphany
Summary: Spirit abruptly quits his job as Shinigami's weapon and leaves town for no apparent reason. Not too long after, Stein mysteriously goes missing as well. Do the two disappearances have a common factor? Angst-ish oneshot. Yaoi/shonen-ai, SteinxSpirit.


_**Sinking With This Ship **__**– a Soul Eater oneshot**_**

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****Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters, nor do I profit off of them. On the contrary, actually—they cost me money by compelling me to buy doujin of them. ^^;;  
**Pairing: **SteinxSpirit.  
**Warning: **Angst, a somewhat mean Spirit, and no Marie-bashing, but this is definitely **NOT **for those who are devoted Stein/Marie shippers. There's some less kid-friendly stuff toward the end, but I cut most of the lime out. :/ If asked nicely, I may reconsider adding it in as a sequel/additional chapter... ^^;  
**Author's Notes:  
**This is entirely based on a dream I had last night. The only adjustment I've made is that I've replaced the main character with Marie, just for convenience's sake, (in the dream it was some kind of OC that I didn't want to bother explaining). The rest of it is exactly the same-which means that yes, I dreamt of Stein and Spirit last night. o.O;;; Anyhow, I hammered this out in one day, (first time that's happened for me!), and this is unbeta'd, so pardon the crappy writing.

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After countless hours in various forms of transit, Marie finally stood before her destination, staring up at a rather sizeable private residence. She briefly double-checked the address with a paper in her hand to verify that they did indeed match.

Ninety days ago he'd disappeared without a trace after an abrupt resignation for which he offered no justification. Without a single indication of where he might be headed he left town, and no one had seen or heard from him since. It had taken a generous amount of collaborative effort to track him down, but after weeks of searching, Shinigami-sama and Azusa had finally pinpointed his whereabouts.

Marie stared up at the house one final time before making her way toward the front door. So _this_ was where he'd been hiding? It certainly was anything but inconspicuous. Not only that but it looked awfully big for someone without steady income to be able to afford. In her eyes, this seemed like the _last_ possible place he could be found. Still, she'd traveled way too far to go home without at least knocking on the door to confirm her suspicions.

Once she did so it didn't take long for someone to answer it, and immediately prove her wrong.

She couldn't recall the last time she'd seen Death Scythe outside of his blazer and tie, let alone in a simple pair of stonewashed denim jeans and a loosely-fitting, faded gray t-shirt. And yet, there he stood, barefoot in the doorway with his crimson hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail. He looked so different: Relaxed, rested, and—dare she think it—even a bit…healthier? She smiled warmly at him and he returned it, in just as genuine a manner as he ever had before.

"What brings you here?" he inquired, though he already knew the answer to that question. Thankfully, she cut straight to the chase.

"Shinigami-sama wants you back. He says he needs you as his personal weapon again."

It was just as he thought. Though he'd made sure the Death God had known he was serious about his resignation, he'd still been half-expecting at least _some_ desperate attempt at recovering him. It was rather flattering to see that he cared enough to send another Deathscythe to do so.

"He wants you to come back to Death City. _Both_ of you."

Spirit perked a brow at her words. True, in the months since he'd abruptly quit and left town Stein had mysteriously abandoned his laboratory sometime afterward, but no one thus far had made a connection between the two. Or so he thought.

"I know it sounds strange, but he said he had good reason to believe that you would know Stein's whereabouts too. He said you'd at least know how to contact him."

So he knew. Nothing less from Shinigami…

He moved to the side in the doorway and gave her a wave. "Come in, if you want. But I'll warn you right now—I'm not leaving. Neither is Stein."

She stepped inside, and as he closed the door behind her, she blinked at him with one visible hazel eye. "You mean he's here?"

Spirit nodded as the two of them began to stride across the large open area composing the first floor, the sound of his bare feet on the hardwood nearly as loud as the clicking from her heels. "And he's in no condition to be going anywhere."

"Wait—no condition? What do you mean?" her steps paused behind him. The redhead turned on a heel to speak to her.

"Stein has been very sick, Marie…" his sights dropped down somberly.

The response blew through her like a shockwave. Something was deeply wrong with that statement—there were two words together that didn't belong in the same sentence. A moment passed before she could process it and attempt to formulate some kind of response. "Sick? Sick how?"

Finding himself faced with the conversation he'd hoped to avoid having—the explanation he'd hoped to never have to give—he sighed softly.

"It turns out his research proved that madness does more than just affect the brain—it actually _erodes_ it. The more affected a person is by it, the faster the degeneration. Those with a normal amount of madness within them live normal lives. But, for Stein…"

Marie's face became devoid of all color. Stein couldn't possibly have a normal life expectancy with all the struggles he'd had with madness over his lifetime. He'd constantly battled with it—had even been consumed by it on more than one occasion that she knew of; possibly more that she didn't. There was no telling the amount of internal damage it had done to him through the years. Part of her didn't even want to think about it.

Along the wall beside them was a small decorative table where a manila folder sat. Spirit opened it, removing a few black, transparent pages—x-ray images of some sort. "I know it might be hard to swallow but…if you don't believe me, take a look at these."

He pulled open a nearby curtain, allowing sunlight to flood into the area. As he held each image up to the light one by one, she could easily note a progression. Just as much as she didn't want to see it, even to her untrained eye it was plainly obvious: Stein had been slowly…fading away.

She discreetly bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to hold back tears. "How did this happen?"

"He started getting clumsy," Spirit answered, "Since when have any of us known Stein to be _clumsy_?" He attempted a chuckle and failed miserably. "Then he started losing track of things…getting absent-minded. I guess that was around the time he started figuring out something was wrong, and that's when I found these."

Marie's gaze dropped to her feet. Since resuming her post in Oceania, she hadn't seen or heard much of Stein. Had she known this was going on, she would've kept in touch with him; she probably wouldn't have ever moved out in the first place. She brought a hand to her lips, yet another attempt to stifle an emotional outburst she could feel building within her. How could this be happening..?

Spirit patted her shoulder gently, staring back at her with unblinking sapphire eyes.

"If it'll help any, you can see him."

With a small nod she let him lead her upstairs. Unlike the first floor this area was much darker, almost as if sunlight was forbidden. At the end of a short hallway was what she gathered was obviously the master bedroom. As they approached the cracked door, she began to contemplate her decision. What would he look like? Did she truly _want_ to see him? Well, she most definitely did—that much was indisputable; the true question was, _should _she?

She thought of turning back, but was too late.

There, in an expansive bed and under a thick white comforter pulled up to shoulder height he lay sleeping, completely motionless aside from his soundless rhythmic respirations. Before him on a nearby nightstand were his glasses, neatly folded and waiting. She could barely distinguish his face from among the sea of colorless fabric, her eyes finding his trademark scar and following it from cheek to jaw. Much to her relief, he didn't look nearly as ill as the images would suggest. Of the scant bit of pallid flesh plainly visible to her, she couldn't discern any major differences in his general appearance—there wasn't anything that would clearly indicate pain or any other malady. He seemed to be sleeping, and nothing more. Of course, the fact that he was not awake at such an hour was rather alarming in itself.

"He does a lot of sleeping these days," Spirit commented absently. Sweeping a few fingers along the scientist's forehead, he brushed away a choppy lock of silvery hair that quickly fell right back into place where it had been. "I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm here, regardless."

"But…why not bring him back to Death City where other doctors can take a look at him and try to save him?"

"If anything could be done, don't you think that Stein would've figured that out himself? I can't speak for you, but he's definitely the smartest doctor _I_ know."

Tears began to well in her eyes. In that moment, she hadn't the faintest idea what could be keeping Spirit from crying as well—he was just as emotional a creature as she was, after all. Then again, he'd probably done it many times before. She couldn't imagine how many restless nights he'd suffered, and all the countless others where only his sobs rocked him to sleep. Surely it took more strength than she knew to stay by his side, vigilantly watching over his lifelong friend and partner as he faded away.

But the thing she found most inconceivable was that said man lying before them both was silently wasting away with every drawn breath.

It couldn't be true…it couldn't be happening… There was no way a man in his early 30's—a physically healthy man like Stein—could be _dying_. It wasn't a fitting end for him. She simply couldn't accept it.

"But…there has to be _something_ we can do!"

"There's no treatment for madness, so there's no way to completely stop the degeneration," Spirit explained. "By taking him away from Death City—away from his lab—I think I've done more good than any doctor could do. You saw the slides yourself—there's nothing that can be done beyond just making him comfortable."

Her sights shifted from the face of the slumbering scientist to his redheaded companion, and she could at last feel warm liquid course down her cheeks.

"Now you know why I can't go back. I'm going down with the ship, Marie," Spirit murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder gently. "I won't leave him. It's always been my responsibility to look after him and take care of him…and I'm going to finish the job."

"So you're going to stay by his side until he..?" Her voice wavered and faded out. She couldn't bring herself to speak the words that were coming next; it was as if doing so sealed his fate.

"I've always been there for him, and I'm not going to stop now. I…" It was his turn to trail off. But, unlike Marie, he eventually continued. "…I love him."

She'd known that; probably even before Stein did. It was the sole reason she hadn't attempted to rekindle a relationship with him. She could understand Spirit's feelings—even in all his folly, it was impossible _not_ to love that man. There was something about him that seemed to draw everyone to him, whether or not either party welcomed such.

After a momentary embrace between the two of them she let the redheaded weapon lead her back downstairs and to the doorway, where he paused.

"Do us a favor, Marie," Spirit asked in his best pleading tone, "Please don't say anything. I know Stein wouldn't want anyone to know; that's why we went so far away."

She sniffled and nodded. "I won't say anything…but you _have_ to contact us when he…he…"

As her emotions cut her off the scythe gave her another tight hug, pulling her close to his chest while another hand rubbed her back reassuringly. "I will. I promise I will."

His pledge solace enough, Spirit saw his fellow Deathscythe off with a wave, closing the door behind her.

…

For moments after her departure he mentally kicked himself as the guilt from his actions finally caught up to him. Of all people, why did they have to send the one person who would take the news the hardest?

With no haste in his steps whatsoever he climbed the stairs and made his way to the master bedroom to find his housemate sitting up in bed, leaning back against its headboard while he lit up a cigarette.

"You would think a simple 'I needed a vacation' would've sufficed," he muttered, "How long do you plan to keep up this charade?"

"You know there's no such thing as vacation for us," Spirit answered with a shrug. "This was the only way we were going to get any time off. Besides, I'm getting kinda getting the hang of things at this point."

"Really," Stein continued flatly. "Does that mean you held the x-rays in the right direction this time?"

Sapphire eyes blinked back at him curiously. There was a certain way he was supposed to hold them?

The silvery-haired meister sighed. "Three different people have come, and not a one of them has noticed the one critical missing element: Those images are of someone who does _not_ have my implant." With his free hand he gave the massive screw a quick crank, feeling it click into place. "I'm starting to get disappointed."

"Well, sooner or later someone's bound to figure it out, and that's when we'll go back." Spirit announced decidedly, his expression pulling into a grin. "In the meantime…" His words paused as he climbed over the doctor, straddling his lap. "Let's just enjoy our vacation, shall we?"

Stein gave a tug to the waist of the weapon's blue jeans. "On that note, I seem to recall something about you making me comfortable…"

Spirit's smirk widened. Without a doubt, this would be the best vacation he almost never had.

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~OWARI~


End file.
